


Strange Love

by ScissorSheep



Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: (Except for Theta), AI are all siblings, Allison Prime, Alternate Universe - Diners, Church is the Director's son, Everyone is ex military, Everyone lives, Everyone works at a Diner, F/F, F/M, Humanized AI, I am so sorry for the long character tag, M/M, Rating May Change, no one dies
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-10-30
Updated: 2015-10-30
Packaged: 2018-04-28 21:11:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,643
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5105888
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ScissorSheep/pseuds/ScissorSheep
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"The freelancers had a difficult time adjusting to the civilian life they had left behind, even with the aid of constellations of pretty pills, the war still pricked her nails deep into their daily lives, which in turn ate at the Director. As a sort of consolation the Director decided to employ his former troops by opening up two diners, and a more upscale restaurant with the hope of creating an environment for his troops to adjust. From the glory of military ribbons, and shiny medals, to owner of a small chain of eateries, most people scoffed and wished him ill luck in his adventures.</p><p>His troops however had been extremely grateful."<br/>~~~<br/>AU in which the Director owns three restaurants, a safe haven for his ex military troops. There is Red Diner, Blue Diner, and the 5 star restaurant, Freelance Cuisine. Let the food wars begin!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Strange Love

**Author's Note:**

> SOOoooo... Thank you all for clicking this first of all.
> 
> Second this is something I'm creating while I go, the plot was stuck in my head and was so easy to type out so here we are. Originally this was going to be a reincarnation AU but I'm satisfied with labeling it as a Diner!AU.
> 
> Anyway as always enjoy!

The sun is rising but Church feels the ache as it seeps through his work strained muscles. It's been about a year since his father had opened up his restaurants, and much to Church's surprise the work of being a cook is an exhausting job. Not that he expected the toil of such a job to be a walk in the park, but the job was none the less taxing.

It was nothing he couldn't handle though, having the title of ex-military under his belt he knew the work and effort of his job would be much less demanding then anything the UNSC demanded of it's soldiers. It was the hard work load and post traumatic stress of loosing his brother, Theta, in battle that pushed Church into a downward spiral. His moral support had been his other siblings (If he was honest Delta had been the most helpful) and his beautiful girlfriend, who had sprawled herself out against him.

The Director (who had been in charge of freelancer operatives during the last tendrils of the covenant war, as well as the red and blue squads that had been stationed under his jurisdiction.) after loosing his son decided to honorably discharge his soldiers as well as himself.

The freelancers had a difficult time adjusting to the civilian life they had left behind, even with the aid of constellations of pretty pills, the war still pricked her nails deep into their daily lives, which in turn ate at the Director. As a sort of consolation the Director decided to employ his former troops by opening up two diners, and a more upscale restaurant with the hope of creating an environment for his troops to adjust. From the glory of military ribbons, and shiny medals, to owner of a small chain of eateries, most people scoffed and wished him ill luck in his adventures.

His troops however had been extremely grateful. The freelancers had been employed at the fancier restaurant, and the reds and blues each had a diner to each of their respective teams. The ex military family found themselves gradually enjoying the fruitful ventures of serving, waiting as well as cooking. 

Church felt a smile grace his lips thinking about all of the amazing people and friends he had made. Unconsciously he pulls Tex closer to himself, their skin sticking together feels strange as it peels apart and Church shivers as pieces of skin are exposed to the cold refrigerated air.

"Tex, babe get up. F.I.L.L.S turn the lights on, the coffeemaker, run the news in the kitchen please." Church mumbles as he peels himself from Tex further.

"Yes sir!" F.I.L.L.S replies and the smell of coffee wafts through the vents.

"If you move any more I will cut you." Tex groggily murmurs, snuggling closer into Church.

"But the coffee..." Church mourns slightly and rolls his eyes at her words.

"What happened to the blankets?" She asks groping the bed for the covers as a chill caresses her body. Apparently the two had fallen asleep naked and cuddled together for warmth. 

"I don't know. My head fucking hurts though, I think I might have had a bit too much to drink at Tucker's..."

Playfully Tex swats her boyfriend over the head before wrapping her cold arms around his neck and kissing the spot right above his right nipple that she knows to be ticklish.

"That's the understatement of the century." She mutters blandly.

"Hey, not my fault. Fucking Grif needs to learn to shut his damn mouth, thinking he could out drink me!" Church feels the irritation from the previous night as it washes through him.

"You're such a child. You and Grif passed out at pretty much the same time. Over a simple bet. Simmons and I told the two of you this morning would be a bitch. You deserve that hangover." Tex's voice is cold as she presses her body closer to Church seeking warmth.

"Uh yeah no. That's what you think happened. Clearly Grif passed out first."

"You were so sloshed you wouldn't even be able to remember who passed out first."

"No, Grif is just lucky that he works at the Red Diner. If I even see him I swear." Tex simply rolls her eyes at him knowing his threats are empty.

"Whatever you say. F.I.L.L.S the time?"

The AI's display above the bed flickers with the time. "It's seven in the morning. The news is on, and the coffee has been prepped."

"Thank you F.I.L.L.S."

"Also, Church, Caboose is up." The AI warns. The two are up and getting dressed in a manner reminiscent of their military days. The only thing missing from their attire was the spartan armor they wore on a daily basis regardless of whatever the task might've been for the day.

"Yeah great, just keep him out of the kitchen please. I don't need him starting another fire." Church mumbles as he struggles with his boots.

"Sure thing!" and with that the AI's display goes black again and F.I.L.L.S leaves to baby sit Caboose.

"I don't understand how that fucker managed to burn WATER." Church mummers once he's finished lacing his boots, he takes a moment to appreciate Tex's plump round breasts as she slips her bra on.

"Like what you see?" She smiles deviously at him before slipping her pants over her hips and fastening the button in an almost teasing manner.

"No, because we have to be to work in and hour and half, we can't be late again or Leonard will cut my head off."

"If your father wasn't such a tight ass, he wouldn't care." She shrugs before slipping a white tank top over her head, "Go check on Caboose before he tries to make breakfast and we don't have a kitchen, again."

Much to his dismay Tex now stands fully clothed with her arms crossed. 

"Are you just going to stand there and undress me with your eyes?" She asks pointedly waiting.

With a heavy sigh Church leaves the room and adjusts himself through his pants. He'd have to coax Tex into sex later after work. With that thought Church lets out a smaller sigh and breathes in the refreshing smell of coffee and Bacon. It's then that Church finds himself running down the metal hallway and down the stairs. When he reaches the kitchen he sighs in relief.

F.I.L.S.S was in her hard light mode with a skillet in her hand and a spatula in the other.

"Sheila, I want to cook the bacon next time. I will not turn is up all the way like last time and then forget." Caboose mutters excitedly as he eagerly passes F.I.L.L.S another piece of bacon for the pan. 

It's a damn good thing that his father had programmed patience into the AI's coding, Church muses. The hard light upgrade had also been a huge plus. It had been about a month now since F.I.L.L.S had been refurbished to handle the capacity of using the hard light software (She had also been given a physical design to use with her new system) which had been integrated throughout their home as well. The Director had advised the adjustments over the afternoon rush at Blue Diner one evening. Any extra help they could get in handling Caboose was a blessing.

They had been disaster free for a week after 'Sheila' had adjusted to Caboose's mannerisms, the AI had the ability to adapt to Caboose and help prevent any mischief the blue wound up creating that her otherwise non physical form could not previously prevent.

"No. You don't get to cook the bacon next time." Church mumbles angrily and seats himself at one of their floating island stools.

"Good morning Church. Caboose will be assisting me with breakfast this morning. We have made you a cup of coffee as well. Please use that to hold you over while we finish cooking." F.I.L.L.S sets her utensils down and turns to hand Church his cup of coffee.

"Thanks." Church smiles back before sipping from the cup and turning to watch the news. Grifball season was in full swing and Church needed to know If Grif's favorite team lost. He practically lived purely to piss Grif off.

It's a bit noisy in their kitchen and though it annoyed Church at times he was glad to have the company. After Theta passed Church had changed in the most minute ways, he was almost glad to have Caboose living with them, he was an excellent way to take his mind off the guilt that ate away at his insides. 

The results from the previous game finally scroll through the bottom of the news, much to Church's bemusement his team had lost. Grif now had at least a week's worth of shit on him now. With a heavy sigh Church shuts the TV off in time to see Tex strolling in, she takes a seat next to Church and swivels around to face him.

"So I saw that the Grenade Busters lost." She's grinning from ear to ear and Church hates the smug look on her face.

"Yeah so what. It was a fluke that's all. Just dumb luck damnitt." Grumpily Church shakes off Tex's hand as she ruffles his hair.

Caboose hums softly and hands Tex a cup of coffee before turning back to Sheila to help serve up the pancakes, hash-browns, eggs and tortillas. It smells both sweet and savory in the kitchen and Tex feels her stomach growl.

"Smells amazing you two." Tex smiles softly against the rim of her cup.

"Yeah, I did most of the work." Caboose grins and seats himself across from Church at the kitchen island.

At Caboose's words the AI rolls her eyes and serves everyone at the table. With a soft beep the AI regresses into the wall presuming her digital form.

"Thanks F.I.L.L.S!" Tex says between mouthfuls of hotcake.

"Tex, I don't think you heard me, I made all of this by myself."

"Shut up Caboose and eat. We need to be at work soon." Church's eyes are murderous as Caboose locks eyes with him.

"We can always call, and say that freckles burned down the house, and then we can watch TV and stay home." With a firm nod Caboose's loyal lab rushes through the kitchen skidding to a halt. Before Caboose can even greet the dog Tex waves a finger at the blond.

"Do not give him food. Dogs do not like maple syrup Caboose." 

"Awwww fine!" With a pout Caboose places a piece of pancake back onto his plate that had been drenched in maple syrup.

"Go wash your hands." Church scoffs at the prospect of Caboose smearing his coated hand against the counter.

"Yes, best friend says, so we must wash my hand freckles." Caboose mutters mostly to himself before disappearing into the bathroom.

Even though Caboose pissed Church off to no end he still was very found of his friend. Even though he almost burned down their house multiple times. Sometimes Church's patience is so thinly stretched that even Caboose manages to pick up on his great disappointment, but for the most part, every morning before work their routine was the same. 

And Church wouldn't trade their mornings together for anything else in the world. Except for maybe a remote control to mute Caboose sometimes. Yeah he'd trade anything to get his hands on that.  
~~~

It's opening time at Red Diner and Donut feels an extra spring in his step this morning. It's Autumn now and Donut loves to twirl around the Diner in the skirt for his uniform. The director had miscounted the amount of uniforms they needed when the Diner first opened and Donut ended up with a female uniform. Donut was more then pleased by the prospect of wearing the revealing outfit with pink neon trim.

Much to his coworkers bemusement Donut loved to flaunt around and flirt with their male patrons. Donut had embraced his new uniform so much he dyed the tips of his hair lightish red in celebration. His build was perfect for the uniform it seemed to compliment Donut's lithe muscles.

Besides the recent drop in temperature (If Donut was being perfectly honest he loved being in small bits of clothes in the Diner, the cold air made his nipples perk up cutely through his shirt.) Donut was in such high spirits because of Simmons and Grif. The blond always had to wonder if his two coworkers had feelings for the other. After finding Simmons at the end of his shift the other day Donut managed to get Simmons to admit Grif was more then a friend. 

Even though Donut knows it was probably just Simmons way of saying they were best friends, Donut still holds onto the possibility that it might have meant something deeper. 

The door opens and Donut immediately snaps out of his ruse to greet the customer.

"Hey sugar, can I offer you a slice of sweet pie with your order today?" Donut bats his eyelashes softly at the attractive tan skinned man at the booth.

"No. Coffee, black and today's special please." It's all the stranger says as he pulls out his phone looking over a text message.

"Sure honey. I'll get that right out." Donut smiles cheerily at the man before scrawling down the order and passing it to Grif and Simmons through the pick up window.

With the first order of the day Grif and Simmons are already bickering. Donut sighs slightly irritated and squeaks his heels against the floor as he fetches the strangers coffee.

In the kitchen Grif drops the chicken fried steak and an order of fries into the fryer.

"Grif!! For the last time it comes with mashed potatoes and gravy not french fries!" Simmons slams his hand against the metal counter, "It's not my fault if Sarge comes in here and bitches you out for changing the menu again!"

"What's the big deal. Fries are better anyways like it matters." Grif sticks his tongue out at the Dutch Irish.

They fall into their normal banter and Simmons manages successfully convince Grif into warming up the mashed potatoes and gravy. With a satisfied smile Simmons places the correct dish in the pick up window to which Donut gleefully accepts.

It's an hour into opening before the breakfast rush hits and Tucker finds himself seated at one of the tables in Red Diner. It's Grif that ends up taking his order after being called to the front to help Donut out.

"You slimy fuck. You came over here so that you can put more work on us." Grif accuses immediately and crosses his arms across his chest refusing to take Tucker's order.

"I'm a paying customer too you know. I want some food!" Tucker yells out incredulously glaring at Grif, "I wanted pancakes and I have break. Church refuses to make me pancakes." Tucker pouts softly.

"If you want pancakes I better get a damn good tip you prick." Grif grumbles and messily writes down Tucker's order. 

Tucker didn't want pancakes from Blue Diner because Church would most likely poison them if he found out they were for Tucker.

Although the reds and blues claimed to hate each other, the truth was that they were all one big family, they celebrated all of the holiday's together, the freelancers also joined in the festivities. It was quaint and special, but it was theirs. They had each other to cope with, together they found themselves slowly integrating themselves into civilian life, and none of them could be any more grateful.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm a bit insecure about posting this but none the less I really like this concept and I want to write so much for this. Eventually the pairings will flesh out, I want to take my time and really flesh out the environment. I might go back and revisit what happened with Theta if you all want.


End file.
